September 17, 2003

I've been drunk and away for a little while, a lot has happened, lets run down some stuff.

 

You's a big fine hurricane why don't you back that thing up.

 

Holy shit, look at that motherfucker!  That’s got death written all over it.  You east coast people better be thanking god that it’s slow down to a category 3 hurricane.  The last category 5 hurricane to hit the United States was Camille in 1969.  It killed 256 people…not bad I guess.  That doesn’t have shit on the one that hit Texas in 1900.  It ran up to Galveston and proceeded to butt fuck the Texas coast.  In the end, 6000+ people died and millions of dollars in damage done.  That storm was just a category 4 too.  Maybe all the damage had something to do with people living in houses made of straw and stick, instead of brick.  Maybe the 3 little pigs were right after all.  I hope for all the people on the east coast that this one slows down a bunch because I’ve done a little math, on average, 124 people die every time a category 3 hurricane hits the U.S. coast.  Be careful out there, or just get the fuck out of Dodge.
 

 

Jamal Lewis breaks single game rushing record.

 

 

I really like football.  I don't know every stat for every player but that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy the game just as much as the next guy.  So, saying that, there are probably going to a few updates here that deal wiith the subject of football...or maybe naked girls, cause isn’t that what we all really want in the end?  Just you and some naked girls watching a football game where they get you beer and they don’t complain about anything.  Maybe even naked girls, who get you beer, don’t complain, and know enough about the game that they don’t continuously ask stupid questions.  Really, most girls who ask about football are just there because they’re trying to make some stupid attempt at spending "quality" time with you and they think that sharing in the football experience will bring you closer.  Here’s a tip.  One reason football is so great is that girlfriends hate it.  It gives us "quality" time with people we actually like...our friends...and the naked girls getting me beer.  And a blowjob would be nice too...but I don’t want to push my luck...naked girls getting me beer that don’t ask questions about the game because they have my wiener in their mouth might be too much to ask.  I’ll give all you guys out there a moment to let that picture soak in.  Now on to the subject at hand.  Jamal Lewis gained 295 yards on the ground Sunday to break the single game record for rushing.  Every fantasy football coach out there that had the foresight to pick him up is doing a little jig right now.  If you’re a Browns fan just go ahead and hang that on around your neck for the next 10 years because you will never live it down.  The next two rushers (Ahman Green and Stephen Davis) had 302 yards combined.  This performance also jumped him up to the league leading rusher this season.  Actually, that’s about all I have to say about that…. its just impressive.  I really just wanted to talk about naked girls giving me head while I watch the Eagles getting their ass kicked.  Stupid Eagles.
 

 

Johnny Cash (71) and John Ritter die (54)
 

What a wacky week for cool people dropping dead.  I'm a little late to actually say anything about these two guys that hasn't been said already so I wont say much.  As far as Johnny Cash goes, I really liked his music and thought he was one of the most influential artists out there.  John Ritter was cool too, I loved him in Sling Blade.  Threes company had him and some hot chicks so you cant go wrong there.  Ill just leave you guys with some links to read on this subject, they probably say it better than me anyway.

Johnny Cash                                                                                                                                               John Ritter
 

 

One more for the road

As you read this think ask yourself, 1. Why did they throw the fingers away and 2. How much are your fingers worth?  These guys make me proud to be a human being.  Dumbasses.


now the three people who come here can leave comments!--> 
 
 

September 11, 2003

Way to go RIAA, why dont you go pick on some cripple people now

 

 

 

The RIAA sues a twelve-year-old girl for $2,000 for music piracy.  There’s plenty of problem with this, but I’ll tackle a few right here.  First of all, the girl is twelve. You can’t seriously tell me that this was the best person they can find to make an example of?  Who was the public relations guru who thought this was a good idea.  Out of the 261 lawsuits ready to be filed (out of the 60 million users online downloading music illegally) this was the best one they could come up with for a first strike.  She’s twelve guys.  You don’t think that scaring her into not ever doing it again was out of the question?  Would it really have taken more than a visit to her house telling her she can get sued?  Probably not.  Twelve year old girls  are pretty much a
push over , I know, I rob them on a daily basis.  So instead of using some kind of scare tactic they sue her and her mother for $2,000…AWESOME!  I’m sure that everyone can afford two grand for songs that can EASILY BE FUCKING DELETED OFF OF THE HARD DRIVE.  Man what a bunch of pricks.  This girl is probably grounded for the next 20 years because she got caught doing something that millions of people do every day.  These very wealthy recording artists and people in the music industry, united under RIAA, just took $2,000 out of this family’s pocket.  That amount of money isn’t chicken feed to regular people assholes.  You probably spend more money than that a week on hookers, drugs, and alcohol. Regular people spend it on trivial things like food, rent, lights, water, and transportation to their two shitty jobs that they have to make ends meet.  The girl lives in New York in a housing project.  Did you forget what its like to not be rich?  Were all of you born with a silver spoon in your mouth?  RIAA you fucking suck.  Second of all, it’s the sheer number of songs this girl had that blows me away.  It wasn’t 10,000 songs…not 5,000 songs, not even 2,000 songs.  The girl had about 1,000 songs that she had pirated.  Whooptie-fucking-do. There are people who have hundreds of thousands of songs.  I would have to say that a thousand songs is probably an average of what internet users have, well, maybe less, but either way, that’s like a cop pulling the guy over who is doing 55 in a 40 because he cant catch the guys doing 110.  Chicken shit. Try to go after the person who has 4 120 gig hard drives full of music that he burns to cd’s and then sells them at the flea market for $5.  That is the people you should be after, not a little girl growing up in the projects. This is not going to save the music industry.  You’re pushing out crappy carbon copy artists with crappy carbon copy songs and you wonder why people do not want to pay $20 for a compact disk that only has 1 good hit on it?  50 cent isn’t poor.  He doesn’t have trouble selling compact disks.  I’m not much for him, but there is something there that people like and because he’s original and creative, he actually sells music.  That and he’s a P.I.M.P.  I bet he wishes he could make 50 cent on every cd he sells!  Music artist rarely make more than 25-50 cents per cd they sell, and that’s only after the record label recuperates their money back.  Artists don’t make money on cd’s they make money from touring and t-shirts and back door drug deals.  I’m going to give everyone the secret to getting people to cut down on piracy.  STOP MAKING SHITTY MUSIC SO PEOPLE WILL WANT TO BUY A CD FROM YOU.  That’s it.  Simple.  I hope this girl devotes her life to finding a way to get back at the RIAA.  Maybe a top of a building with a high powered rifle.


now the three people who come here can leave comments!-->
 
 

September 9, 2003

For Love or Money 2, or as I call it...Take the Money Stupid

 

 

I was forced to watch the finale of For Love or Money 2 

last night and I have never seen a better example of someone who needs to be taken out and shot.  Basically, as far as I could tell, this guy, Chad, makes it to the end of this 3 month ordeal of him "falling in love" and competing with 15 other guys seeking love also.  They get dwindled down to just one guy who can choose this chick, Erin, that they all have been fighting over or, get this, a million dollars.  I know a million dollars isn’t a lot of money compared to true love but give me a break.  First, you’re on a TV show, can you really expect to find true love on a TV show??  Second of all, you have only known this chick for 2-3 months, and she’s playing the game too, ON THIS TV SHOW!  How can you take this seriously?  So our hero Chad is so in love with this woman at the end of this time that he actually turns down the money and takes the girl instead.  Chad, you are about 2 seconds away from being on my list of people who can kiss my ass.  But wait!  The plot thickens!  Erin has already been on this show before but she was competing with 15 girls and made all the way down to the final one.  They told her she can take the million or they guy, what do you think she did?  Damn straight.  She took the money.  This season she gets invited back, risking her million, to win another million to see if she can get some shmuck (that’s you Chad) to pick her over a million dollars.  And she did.  After Chad tells Erin that he picked her over a million dollars she let him know about her million, and also, that she won ANOTHER million because she suckered him into picking her!  But its ok because she’s in love with Chad now and Erin even has the decency to split her newly won million with Chad…awww.  How can he honestly be happy with himself?  Hey Chad, after you guys break up and you realize that you’re a fucking idiot cause you just blew a million dollars on some long shot relationship, at least you can say that you were on TV.  Erin, way to be a good sport and giving up 500 g’s to Chad cause he was stupid enough to take you over the money.  Both of you make me want to vomit.

 

September 7, 2003
Hi, I'm Dave Attell, I have the best job in the universe.

 

 

I don't know how many of you guys out there have 

Comedy Central, but for those of you who do you should really catch Insomniac.  The whole premise of the show is this guy, Dave Attell, runs around the world, getting drunk, seeing the sights and making fun of people. How the hell did he get this gig?!  I didn't even know there were sign ups!  I have often thought about what my perfect job in life would be, you know, my true calling in life and if I were to make a list everything this guy does would be on it.  Get drunk? Check.  See hot chicks all over the world?  Check.  Visit the best parties, bars, and events in the world?  Check.  Make fun of the people you run across during these adventures?  Check.  Long story short, I'm fucking jealous.
 

 

One more thing before I go...I'm not here to make friends.

 

 

 

I recently had a friend go to a planned parenthood clinic

because she is a responsible person and wanted to get on birth control.  That's not the point though.  As she's walking up to the door, there are protestors outside yelling and screaming at her not to kill her baby, that there are other choices and other clichés.  I cant imagine how the hell that felt.  She's not doing anything wrong; in fact, she's trying to avoid having to ever make a choice like that.  As if its not nerve racking enough to go into a clinic to you have these idiots bombarding you with bullshit.  Well, I have a message for them...fuck you.  Do something better with your time.  Tomorrow when you wake up, after to oil up your assault rifle waiting for the day when you can level your sights on a clinic worker for your justified homicide, (don’t tell me not to lump you guys all in the same category, that's what happened to my friend, so...well, again, fuck you) just go back to bed.  Go see a movie.  Read a book.  Where the hell do these people find the fucking time to do this shit?  I don't have a job and I don't have that much free time on my hands.  I think that my friend handled it with class and style though; she just looked and gave them the "finger."  Well done!

September 2, 2003

Take your political opinions and stick them right up your ass.

 

I'm tired of hearing everyone's political opinion about everything under the sun.  Republicans suck, Democrats 

 suck, Bush sucks, the war is for oil.  Here is a thought, keep it to yourself. No one in their right mind gives a shit about what you think about politics.  Most likely your thoughts are based on some TV show or radio station that you frequent so you can keep on top of world affairs, and most likely your opinions are at best half assed. You don't do this because you care about what's going on, you do it to attack people at the water cooler about their political views.  It’s a bit like fishing Id assume.  You wander over to a group of people at work before they can escape, pretend to be interested in what they're saying long enough to interject something slightly debatable about what's going on in the wide world of politics to get a reaction.  Most of the sane people leave at this moment, seizing the opportunity to go back to work (gee thanks asshole, id rather sit in my shitty little cubicle than listen to your fucked up rants about the state of Israel).  But if you fish long enough, you'll find that special someone, that person who is your opposite ass clone that will argue with you about anything and everything that comes out of your mouth.  So you two go at it like two dueling douche bags until one of you stumps the other person.  Its not that you're politically smarter, its just that you were running late to work this morning and caught an extra 10 minutes of fodder on the local radio station. At the end, no one is better.  No one changes their minds.  You're just irritated.  Congratulations. You're a dickhead.  Give everyone around you a break and both of you run around in traffic for about an hour...who ever walks back, is the victor.  Whoever gets wiped out by a car has done the world a favor.  Hopefully it will be a big fucking gas guzzling SUV if you're a liberal, and maybe some minority if you're conservative.

Here...read up    Liberal           Conservative

 

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